Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize