I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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