I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize