She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
