I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
