i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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