I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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