weddingsv make me drug and hornr
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
