just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
