Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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