I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize