You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
