the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
