I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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