Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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