New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Randomize
