If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
