just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
May the power of my ass compel you!!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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