yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
