i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
