I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
