Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
