First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
