Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
