it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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