Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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