It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
