And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we're making bets on your personal life
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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