No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
