I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
