Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
