i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
