If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
