Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
