My nipple is on Facebook.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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