im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This toilet bowl is my home.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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