I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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