i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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