shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
