Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
