Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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