NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
