grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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