Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
