I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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