I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
