We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
This is classic penis vs brain.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
