You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
