I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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