Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
