Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
