Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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