He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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