I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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