According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
