i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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