he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
