problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
