the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
