dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i now understand why vodka
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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