she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you made out with another girl for some wings
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
